Prank Calls
by Locketful o' Heartache
Summary: The girls are having a slumber party over at the boys' while the parents are away. What will they do? Why, prank call people of course! Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.
1. Carlisle and Govena Shwarrrzenegger

**Hey people's! This is just some random idea that popped into my head just now an since it's 2:30 in the morning and I think I might have insomnia, I'm gonna write it down for you guys. (I started writing it at 2:30 and didn't finish and kinda forgot about it, but now I found it and finished it) You're welcome! But ya… I understand if nobody like's it. Once I'm finished with it I probably won't either : P. And I'm just doing his cuz I wanna, but I will hopefully be updating my other story soon. Soon as in this week soon. Hopefully. :D This is an all human story with cannon couples. Alice, Rosalie, and Bella are sisters and Charlie and Renée are their parents. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett are brothers and Carlisle and Esme are their parents. The girls are having a slumber party over at the boys while the parents are away. Ooooh! Lol. Disclaimer on my profile. So now here it is:**

**Prank Calls**

**Chapter 1: Carlisle and Govena Shwarrrzenegger**

**Bella's POV**

"No Alice! I'm not going to do that!" I argued with her for the tenth time in one hour.

"Oh come on Bel-laaa!" she pleaded, dragging my name into two syllables. "It'll be fun! Just call him, say something stupid, and hang up! It's that simple!"

God help me. Alice has been trying to convince me to prank call Edward's _dad_, while him and Esme are out on an "all adult weekend vacation" with Charlie and Renée. When they told all of us about it, Emmett had immediately shouted, "THAT SOUNDS DIRTY! IS IT DIRTY?! BECAUSE IT'S SOUNDS DIRTY!" and gotten a lecture about being appropriate in front of company. But it wasn't really effective since everyone was rolling around on the floor in hysterics, except for Emmett, who just sat there looking confused.

"What? What did I say?" he kept asking, which only made us laugh harder. Now we're sleeping over at their house, and everybody wants to prank call him because they are convinced that it'd be fun. Not me.

"Alice, if it's so simple why don't YOU just do it?" I asked, satisfied with my comeback.

"Oh for God's sake! Give me the damn phone and I'LL call him!" Rose screeched and lunged for the phone. She snatched it out of Alice's tiny hand and Alice did nothing to prevent it, she just sat there looking amused but irritated.

Emmett grinned. "I looove seeing you get feisty babe." Then he winked at her. He didn't even seem to notice the rest of us pretend gagging at his attempted flattery.

Well, it seemed to work because Rose blushed and batted her eyelashes at him, then began dialing the familiar number with me and Alice hovering right by her face, wanting to listen to the conversation.

"Jeez you guys! You don't have to get so close, I'm starting to think you guys are

going lesbo on me!" Rose laughed. **(A/N: No disrespect at all to homosexuals. I support your fight all the way =D**) Oops, we'd been hovering so close, we were almost cheek to cheek.

"Ssshhhhh!" Alice squealed. "It's ringing!" She had Rose turn it on speaker. It rang a couple of times before Carlisle's annoyed voice came on.

"Hello?" he asked warily. Rose adopted a very believable Austrian accent.

"Da. Theeese is Govena Arrrnold Shwarrrzenegger." **(A/N: Eww, it's the man who "borrowed" 6 billion dollars from our schools and didn't give it back. **_**Theeese**_** is supposed to be **_**this**_** with an accent and **_**Govena**_** is supposed to be **_**Governor**_** with an accent, and it has 3 R's cuz she's rolling them, like you do when you speak Spanish)**

"Come again?" Carlisle asked incredulously. We were all trying not to laugh now.

"Did you not hearrr me? I saaaaiiidd, "Da. Theeese is Govena A-" Rose began.

"Yes I heard you!" he snapped. Rose pretended to get angry.

"NEVA CUT OFF THEE GOVENA!!! I could half **(A/N: Have)** yourrr medical license rrrebuked!" Rose screeched threateningly. She was very convincing and Carlisle started to panic.

"What? N-no please!" he begged. Rose didn't answer for a minute because she was trying so hard not to laugh and blow her cover. Jasper and Edward had to hold Emmett down and cover his mouth or else he would have been rolling on the ground and bellowing out his booming laugh.

"He-hello?" Carlisle asked. "Mr. Shwarzenegger?"

"IT'S _GOVENA_ SHWARRRZENEGGER!" she managed to gasp out.

"Sorry, sorry! Governor Shwa-"

"NINE**! (A/N: That means no)** GOVENA! _GOVENA_!"

"Erm, right right. Govena Shwarzenneger, I'm terribly sorry. Please don't take away my license," he said. Rose deliberated for a moment. Carlisle inhaled and stopped breathing in anticipation.

"Well, all rrright. Vut just rrremember: Neva cut off thee govena!"

"Yes s-sir Govena Sir," he stammered.

"Okay then, half a nice day Mrrr. Cullen," Rose said.

"Uhh yes Govena sir. You too." Then he up.

We could not hold it anymore. We exploded. The phone dropped out of Rose's hand and clattered to the floor and soon she joined it, tears streaming down her face from laughing so hard. Edward and Jasper gave up on holding Emmett back and they all laughed so hard they fell off the couch. Alice and I were leaning against each other so we wouldn't fall on the ground like them.

We laughed for around 15 minutes and when most of us had calmed down enough to be able to speak, Rose asked, "See Bella? We told you it would be fun!"

I nodded, not trusting my voice because it was sure to be hoarse from all my laughter.

And just when I thought it was finally over, Emmett whispered, "Govena…" and it set us all off again.

**Okay! I know that was really stupid and I don't really expect pplz to like it, but it helped me out with my writers block a bit. Oh, and the song I was listening to while writing this was Viva la Vida by Coldplay. It's an awesome song, if you haven't heard it, I suggest you look it up. ******** (That happy face looks demented…) Lolz, even if you didn't really like, it, review anyway plz!**

**Pwease? *puppy dawg eyes***

**I'm not sure if this'll be a oneshot, so if I get reviews it may or may not be. So, review!**

**Love,**

**Locketful o' Heartache**


	2. Tyler and Mr Sushi's Restaurant

**Hey guys! Wow, I didn't expect anyone to review this, so this goes out to everybody that reviewed:**

VaCaRoCa

Jeah Hale

Tomboy Amy (one of my besties =D)

Animegirl167213

lionlamluv (another one of my besties =D)

twilightaddict14

Starthevampire

Tiny-Clumbsy-Pixie

SIMONBAKERFANATIC

dgomez

**Thank you guys so much and here's chapter 2 for you! Btw, this chapter is dedicated to my besties, Tomboy Any and lionlambluv. Check out their stories and poems, they're amazing =D**

**Disclaimer on my profile.**

**Prank Calls**

**Chapter 2: Tyler and Mr. Sushi's Restaurant**

**Alice's POV**

After we had fully calmed down, my Jazzy asked who we should call next. And Emmett, being Emmett, suggested something embarrassing.

"Ooooh oooh! Me! ME!!!" he yelled while raising his hand like a little kid.

"Hmm, why, Emmett! Do YOU have an idea of who we should call?" Bella asked, sounding just like my kindergarten teacher.

Emmett nodded his head, grinned and said, "Yeah I do!" then he turned to me. "We'll have Alice call Tyler Crowley and talk to him in a man's voice telling him he won free meals at Mr. Sushi's Restaurant for a month!" he finished. Everyone looked to me, amused.

"What? Why me?" I asked, mildly horrified. If he figured it out, nobody would ever let me forget it.

"Becaaaause Alice!" Emmett whined. "Everybody knows that he likes you; he put that picture and note in your locker last year."

Urgh, I shuddered. Last year was horrible. Tyler followed me around everywhere, and constantly hit on me. It was disgusting! Then sometime during the last week of school, he somehow got into my locker and left a "sexy" picture of him and a note telling me how hot I was. I shuddered again. But nodded in acceptance.

"Fine," I huffed. "Butt munch…"

"Excuse me?!" Emmett exclaimed, holding his hand over his heart with a hurt expression. "Never in my entire span of existence **(A/N: Ha! XD) **have I ever once munched on a butt!" he then looked lustfully at Rosalie. "Hey Rose-" she smacked him.

"Don't finish that sentence Emmett McCarty if you value your manhood." He winced and we all laughed.

"It was just a suggestion…" he mumbled. I shook my head.

"Shh, I'm calling him." The phone started dialing. I put it on speaker. Emmett giggled and clapped his hands together quickly like, well, like me. Jazzy shushed him and he pouted but nodded.

"'Sup? Who be hittin me up?" Tyler called in his poser gangsta voice. I made a face.

"Yes sir, is this Tyler Crowley?" I asked in a horrible impression of a man's voice. They snickered.

"Ya homey it is. Wut up in the fo shiz?" he asked me.

'What?' I mouthed to Edward and Bella. They just shook their heads trying to contain their laughter. I decided to voice my thoughts.

"Umm, what was that sir?" I asked, my voice cracking under the stress to make it sound like a man's.

"Brotha ya sound sick. Get some cold medicine er sumthin a'ight dawg?" Jazzy and Rose let out little giggles. I coughed, trying to cover them up and glared at them. They just shrugged with big smiles.

"Erm, yes sir, I'll be sure to do that…But the reason I'm calling you today is to tell you that you've won Mr. Sushi's Restaurant raffle! You and anybody you want to take with you win free sushi for a month!" I reported enthusiastically. I heard him gasp.

"No way! Fo realz yo?! That's bangin! When do me an ma homeys pick up our shiz?" he inquired. I was quiet for a moment and ruffled some papers on the table, hearing him muttering, "I don't even member entering no contest. Dat's sum lucky shiz yo…" I grinned. Here comes the fun part. I cleared my throat.

"Well, I'm sorry Mr. Crowley sir but I'm afraid there's been a mix up…It wasn't actually _you _that won the raffle, it was a Mister…Newton! I'm terribly sorry for the mix up," I apologized. He snorted.

"No worries bro. Mike's one of ma homeys! I'll just grab sum fish from the dude tomorrow. C ya!" and he hung up before I could say anything else. Everybody laughed a bit but not too much.

"Alice, why'd you tell him that?! Now He'll think he can get sushi from Mike…" Rose trailed off with a look of confusion which quickly sharpened into one of deviousness. "Oh you're goooood." We grinned while the others just looked confused.

"Umm, what? I don't get it. So what if Mike gets the sushi?" Emmett asked dumbly. The rest of them caught on though. Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Emmett, it's _going_ to be funny _tomorrow_ when Tyler tries to get sushi from Mike, _when Mike doesn't have any._" He looked confused for a second longer and then grinned widely.

"Ohhhh, I think I'm actually going to enjoy going to school tomorrow."

**Well all right people, that was chapter two! I hoped you liked it and sorry for not updating sooner, but I have my reasons.**

**#1: I'm lazy.**

**#2: Soccer practice killed me.**

**#3: I'm lazy.**

**XD Good enough for ya? Well if it isn't, too bad! XD jk jk**

**Anyway, I hoped you liked it and review review review dammit! **

**Pwease? **puppy dawg eyes****

**Love,**

**Locketful o' Heartache**

**Review and you get a preview (when I figure out what I'm going to write XD) and a Cullen cookie of your choosing =D**


	3. Bruno and Charlie Part I

**Happy I updated? You better freakin be! I had a lot of help with this one, from one of my besties Jacky, aka lionlambluv. She translated all the "Brüno speak" for me. So a big thank you to her and check out her stories, and also my other bestie's Tomboy Amy. Both are amazing authors and friends =D Btw, the song I am listening to is You Found Me by the Fray. Great band. Trust me.**

**Disclaimer: Disclaimed.**

**Prank Calls**

**Chapter 3: Brüno and Charlie**

**Edward's POV**

After we had called Tyler, all of us were bored and we couldn't figure out what to do. Not that I minded though, I was content to just sit there with my angel in my arms all night. But then of course my dumbass brother got an idea.

And it wasn't Emmett, no. It was _Jasper. _He was supposed to be the good one! He was lying with his head in Alice's lap on the couch and she was playing with his hair, when he suddenly sat straight up so fast he slid off the couch with a dull _THUD. _

He didn't even look fazed and with a mischievous smirk directed at me he said, "I got an idea."

Crap.

**Rosalie's POV**

I was just sitting on the couch with Emmett's arm around me and me tracing his huge biceps, waiting for him to get another dumb, yet funny, idea. Needless to say I was surprised when Jasper had an idea first.

And it was for Edward.

I think I'm going to like this one.

**Jasper's POV**

I had my head on Alice's lap, cultivating my soon-to-be-awesome-plan. Haha, I had an Emmett moment.

When I had finally thought up my plan to hopefully get Edward in trouble, or at the least have a very awkward moment conversation with the girls' father, I sat up and fell off the couch, but I didn't even care because I was so excited.

"I got an idea," I said, smirking at Edward. He looked scared and angry. I snorted and got on my knees with my hands up, palms faced forward.

"Okay okay, listen. Edward here," I paused to wink at him and he scowled. I grinned and continued. "Calls Charlie-"

"What?! Come on! I can't prank call Charlie! What if he uses his tazer on me or something? I can't do-" Emmett cut him off by covering his face with a pillow, effectively suffocating him.

"Shush Eddie! Jazzy's trying to talk!" he said, shushing Edward with a finger to his lips.

"Emmett!" Alice exclaimed. He looked at her innocently.

"What?"

"He can't breathe!" she shouted. At this point Edward was thrashing his arms, trying to knock the pillow off his face. Emmett gasped and pulled it away, revealing a very distraught looking Edward. Bella flew to him and fluttered her hands about him, trying to find a way to help but coming up empty.

"Wha-what the hell Emmett?! I could have died!" he yelled.

"Oh pish-posh-poppycock!" he gasped and giggled hysterically. "BAHAHAHA, I SAID COCK!" Rose smacked him. "Owie…" he pouted. Edward sent one last glare at him before they all turned back to me. I stared at Emmett and shook my head.

"Okay, so as I was saying," I said, throwing Edward a pointed look before continuing. "Edward calls Charlie, uses and_ accent_ so he won't get caught, and that's it! Shouldn't be too hard!" I reasoned. Edward started to say something.

"Ok-" I cut him off.

"BUT! Oh yeah baby there's a catch," I said and winked. "You have to use an accent from a movie that you saw recently." I finished and smiled. Edward looked hopeless. Then he turned hopeful.

"What if I haven't seen any movies with accents?" he asked. Alice groaned.

"What do you mean no movies with accent?! In every movie there is at least one type of accent! Just pick one and make the call!" she shouted, exasperated whilst thrusting the phone at him. He caught it easily.

"Jeez, okay okay Alice," he turned to me and whispered quietly, "Damn dude keep your girl under control, she's having a total bitch fit!" but he didn't whisper quietly enough and Alice heard.

"WHAT?!" she screeched. Edward sighed.

"Don't pretend you didn't hear me. You're basically an elf, and everybody knows they have incredible hearing. What with those ears and all," he shrugged nonchalantly. All of us were openmouthed and staring, except Alice who seemed to be considering which ways could hurt Edward the most. He was still over there chuckling. That is until he turned and saw her enraged expression. He rolled his eyes.

"Come on Alice it was just a j-" she leaped at him, clawing his face.

"Holy crap! What's wrong with you?! Jasper, help me!" Edward shouted. I reluctantly pulled her off of him, with much difficulty. Edward was tentatively probing the side of his face where there were small scratch marks on it. Alice meanwhile was pouting in my arms. I nudged her and motioned to Edward with my head when she looked up. She turned to him and looked a little guilty. I think she was just about to apologize when Edward had to open his fat mouth.

"Damn Alice, seriously, what was up with that? Are you PMSing or something? Because normally you don't go around going feline on people's faces. Unless I missed some new memo…" Emmett laughed loudly at his bold remark.

"Why do they call it PMS anyway?" Emmett asked. Rosalie came up with a quick answer.

"Because as soon as you say it to a girl you're PMS: Pretty much screwed," the girls laughed. Edward tsked.

"No no no, you have it all wrong," they looked at him in disbelief and anticipation. He grinned and said, "It's because Mad Cow Disease was already taken!" he said and busted into loud, chortling laughter. Emmett and I were flabbergasted. **(A/N:** **HA! That word is so funny! XD) **It was funny but that was just stupid to say with all those girls in there.

Emmett signaled for us to get out of the line of fire. We knew he had just metaphorically dug his own grave.

I slowly removed my arms from around Alice's waist and backed up over the top of the couch. Emmett was doing the same with Rose. When we got to the back of the couches we peeked over the tops so only our heads' from our eyes up were showing.

Edward noticed our absence and looked at us strangely.

"What are you guys doing?" he asked dumbly. We cautiously pointed at the fuming girls. He looked and immediately jumped up apologizing, but not before running behind Emmett for cover. Then Emmett jumped up with a little scream and ran over to me behind my couch. Edward followed and Emmett started to get scared.

"Eeeek! Get away get away get away! It's your turn to die, not mine! I'm too young and beautiful!" Emmett yelled, running in circles, trying to get away from Edward who was still trying to hide behind him. Alice, Rosalie, Bella, and I were laughing really hard when Edward took a flying leap onto Emmett's back, effectively knocking him over.

"Come on Emmett, dammit, just let me hide behind you! DAMMIT!" Emmett was trying to poke him in the eyes while Edward had him pinned to the ground. Edward kept doing the Three Stooges move, putting his hand between his eyes so Emmett's fingers couldn't reach his face.

"Oh hell!" Emmett exclaimed. He opted to use both of his hands instead of just the one. Needless to say, Edward wasn't too happy about having his eyes poked.

"Ow! Ow ow ow ow ow! All I wanted to do was hide behind you and you try to take out my corneas! I'm blind! Oh, well at least now I don't have to look at _your_ face anymore…" Emmett gasped and slapped his head. Edward yelped and grumbled whilst starting to rub his head. The girls and I were in hysterics watching them.

"You better damn well be honored that you get to even _glimpse _this beautiful masterpiece," Emmett said, framing his face. The girls had tears streaming down their faces. I managed to regain my composure. Somehow.

"All right, are we going to do the call or not?" Emmett shoved Edward off of him and ran over to me, jumping up and down like a happy five-year-old. Edward reluctantly followed and sat down on the couch beside Bella and put on a brave face.

"Hell yeah, let's do this bitch."

**Well okay, that took me forever. I'm not good at writing this mindless stuff lol. But this is just part 1 of Brüno and Charlie, part 2 is the actual call. I probably won't be updating this for a hella long time, Ima mostly be working on A New Family, New Friends, and a New… Love?, my main story. So yeah, if you haven't read it yet, go and read it plz cuz it's a hella lot better than this one =D**

**Review if you want me to update! =D**

**Love,**

**Locketful o' Heartache**


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